Poop personified!

Coolio is an aphrodisiac (#255)

Victoria’s Secret bags (#254)

A nice surprise (#253)

I don’t think she’s serious about it (#231)

It rhymes with 2009, you guys (#216)

Going green (#203)

You don't even want to know what happened when somebody advised him to go organic.

Google as a verb (#161)

I really encourage you to use google as an adjective from now on. Let's start a trend!

Two Heroes (#118)

If a Hero eats a hero, is that some form of cannibalism?

“Blood Hero” (#117)

For the record: Yes, I donated blood recently. No, I don't usually say "eww bums".

“Like climbing a mountain” (#110)

Don't even ask me who is belaying.

“Three wishes” (#96)

First wish: oversized penis. Second wish: two chicks to use said oversized penis on. Third wish: a ton of money to get penis-reduction surgery.

We must put a stop to suffrage (#93)

I'm sure this joke has been done a million times before. But how many times has it been done by characters without faces? See, look how original I am.

The only way to calm a monster (#78)

If you were a giant female monster, you'd do the same thing.

“Some women like pink” (#76)

Since the scientist just got picked up it's likely the drink also has a lot of alcohol in it :)

“Freedom’s Penis” (#74)

It's funny because the monument looks like a penis.

The towel trick (#58)

Little known fact for those of you outside the realm of gaming: the "towel trick" also refers to wrapping a broken xbox 360 inside a towel to overheat it, for various reasons.

I have been and always shall be, your friend…ly villain on Heroes. (#57)

Dude, Zachary Quinto was awesome as Spock. That guy with the cut head does not represent the opinion of Mr. Turd! Not even a little!

The ladies totally dug me in 1984. (#53)

If Back to the Future IV ever comes out, I'll have to invest in some of those pants Prince used to wear with the ass cheeks cut out.

Who says swine flu is a bad thing? (#48)

You see ladies, I'm a glass is half full kind of guy. One man's deadly virus is another man's ticket to ride.

That granny is a bad seed. (#37)

Damn granny's with their dirty minds.

“Chicks dig STD shirts.” (#30)

Coming soon to Wax Turds: t-shirts with your favorite STDs!

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