Fat guy in a little (striped) coat

A dude recently agreed to plead guilty to murder in exchange for fried chicken, pizza, and ice cream (link). Seriously. Like, he didn’t want a guaranteed short sentence or any kind of deal like that. No no, he wanted some tasty food. Below is what I imagine he looks like:

As weird as I think this plea is, I kind of get where he’s coming from. Jail food is kind of notorious for being bad, which generally falls under the category of “who gives a shit”. But if it were ME in the klink, I’d probably be looking for a way to improve my eats. I’m guessing this guy was very obviously guilty, with no chance of actually winning a trial. So faced with jail time, why not guarantee something to make it more enjoyable? From the other side of the table, the “good guys” get to save a bunch of tax payer money with a big trial, so it makes sense from their end. I’m very curious what the terms of the plea are, like: how long/often does he get this food? was it really in lieu of a shorter sentence/early parole? how hard did the lawyers laugh when they heard this?

Whatever the details were, I think this story highlights our nation’s obsession with fast food. I don’t feel like getting into a big shpeel about it, I think I’ll just let this CDC figure do the talking: