Poop personified!

The great debate (#182)

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffere the slings and arrows of outrageous gastrointestinal pain, or to take arms against a sea of lactase pills, and by opposing end them? To dine: to eat; no more; and by an eat to say we end the stomach-ache and the thousand natural poohs that butts are heir to, 'tis a consummation devoutly to be avoided. To dine, to eat; to eat: perchance to dessert: ay, there's the tub; for in that eat of girth what cheese may come when we have shuffled off this dairy coil, must give us gas.......